Review: Lonesome’s Pizza (Old Town/Delivery)


Lonesome’s Pizza (Old Town/Delivery/Take-Out)
350 West Burnside (at Dante’s)
Portland, OR 97209
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Delivery Area Map
Ph: Eastside 503-234-0114/Westside 503-274-9570
Hours: Su-Wed 11 a.m. to 3 a.m.; Th-Sat 11 a.m. to 4 a.m.
Website | Menu | Twitter | Facebook
Lunch Money: $$$
Rating: ★★★★½

Whenever I’m having a particularly bad day, and I can’t even fathom the thought of eating on my nervous/upset stomach, who do I call? Well, I should probably call my therapist, but that’d be a $150 bill, so I call Lonesome’s Pizza instead.

Ok, ok…it’s not just bad days that have me ringing up Lonesome’s. They’re my go-to mini pizza party for celebrating a Here Comes Honey Boo Boo marathon or satisfying that insatiable, emotional PMS craving or finding an unexpected $20 in the dryer or, really, any reason works for me.

You might be thinking: ‘I’ve never heard of Lonesome’s Pizza…how can it be any better than the hundreds of other ‘za joints in this town?’

How? They just are.

There is one slight issue. Lonesome’s is take-out or delivery only and the delivery area is limited, so be sure to check HERE to make sure you’re in their delivery zone. If not, you might have to start making plans to move. (I’m only in by about a block, and I’m forever grateful for that.)

Lucky for everyone who lives and/or works in the Lonesome’s delivery area, they are NOW open for lunch. This is the best news ever! [Note: In my personal opinion.]

Not only do they dish out probably the most unique pies with the craziest names around, but they also serve up art and music. Every pizza box introduces you to an artist or musician, and the large pizza boxes include a complimentary CD. Broaden your artistic horizons while you chow down—Pizza Hut and Dominos certainly don’t offer that!

OK, now on to the food. There’s a reason I would order from Lonesome’s every night if my wallet and waistline allowed it—the pizza is damn good!

Personally, I’m addicted to the John Stamos vs. the entire Comanche nation (yes, I warned you about the names)…or more simply: the #11. It’s an Alfredo base topped with mozzarella, bacon, artichokes and parsley. I typically add prosciutto as well. To. Die. For. (Or to die from. The menu states it’s “a happy heart attack.”)

Other household faves include:

#14: Lando Calrissian vs. that tank from Tiananmen Square, which is the Alfredo base topped with mozzarella, chicken and broccoli.

#5: Hasselhoff vs. Velcro headboard restraints, which is a white pie with ricotta, mozzarella, walnuts, bacon, rosemary and potato slices.

#13: Tesla the inventor vs. Dokken the band, which is a Lonesome’s original consisting of Ethiopian spiced red sauce, braised lamb and goat cheese.

[Another Note: I’m currently drooling as I write these descriptions.]

Prices for the 17” specialty pizzas are currently $19 to $24, and they are HUGE! Smaller versions of the pies (10”) are $9 each (and the perfect size for lunch). You can also custom build your own pizza, with toppings including “unicorn balls”—I’m not sure if that’s considered a meat or a veggie topping.

As if pizza weren’t enough, Lonesome’s offers up some hefty sides as well. And by hefty, I mean holy-shit huge! The “wings” are actually chicken drumsticks doused in your sauce of choice. The breadsticks are equally indulgent. You can also order salads and sandwiches.

And, because this is Portland, there are plenty of veggie, vegan and G-Free options.

Overall, I love Lonesome’s Pizza. It’s just soooooo good. If you’re lucky enough to live in the delivery area (or willing to pick up take-out), give it a try. You can thank me later.

PROS:
NOW open for lunch!!!!
Excellent pizza
Unique Portland business
Great art and music offerings with each pizza
Massive drumstick “wings”

CONS:
Limited delivery area
I’d get really fat if I ordered from them every day

Lonesome's Pizza on Urbanspoon

Review: Fire on the Mountain (East Burnside)

Fire on the Mountain
1708 East Burnside
Portland, Oregon 97214
503-230-9464
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Rating: ★★★★½

Wings, oh, lovely wings! Who doesn’t love a great wings place, right? Sure, you could trek out to the lone Hooters left in Oregon at Jantzen Beach, but for a great local wings place, you really should visit Fire on the Mountain—which now has two locations. Not only are the wings great, but the selection of sauces is outstanding.

Portland was a little behind the wings trend for years and years, and Fire on the Mountain’s initial location on North Interstate was really the first GOOD wing-specializing place in town (seriously, you can’t count Hooters, puh-lease) when they opened up in 2005. The original location is teeny-tiny, so if you go be prepared to wait for a table or just order take-out. The new East Burnside location is larger and very airy, but it’s also known to fill up fast during lunchtime.

When you approach the counter to give your order, you can actually taste-test the sauces on small pieces of celery. This is a great way to try out any sauces you might usually be afraid to try on an entire order of wings, so go ahead, dip that celery stick in “El-Jefe” and let the burning sensation begin. Continue reading Review: Fire on the Mountain (East Burnside)

Stumptown Lunch News: Hooters Beaverton Closes

Looks like there is one less place to get wings at lunch in the Portland area!

The Lunch Lady got word of the closing of the Beaverton Hooters location via the Conan O’Brien Show just tonight (including a lame Beaverton-related joke).

Sadly, upon further research, it sounds like the employees pretty much got screwed over and weren’t told the restaurant was going to close. That’s pretty cold — especially for the gals who wear those skimpy outfits!

The last remaining Hooters location in Oregon is at Jantzen Beach.